you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
