My boss' voice literally gives me gas
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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