i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
