come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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