i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
