and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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