this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
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So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
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I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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