kristin has been a bad kristin
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
