in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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