i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize