Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
