did you get engaged???
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
