I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
