i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
