oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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