I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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