I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
