i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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