You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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