he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
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As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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