watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
