frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
