I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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