apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
honey bunches of taint.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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