I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
