I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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