She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
