Define "chronic" masturbator.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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