she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
