I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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