plz talk dirty to me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
