its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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