Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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