If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
