I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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