i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
