did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
