Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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