How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
zippers are such a cool invention
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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