4 words: hood of his car
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
