My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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