Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize