tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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