you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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