he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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