the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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