We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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