WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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