Yo dont text me then not text me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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