Pappa wants mamma naked
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
