She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My penis needs a shock collar
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
