Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
