you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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