I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
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I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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