We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
