i wish peter jackson would direct porn
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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