Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
