i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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