rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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