So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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