Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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