i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
