I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
